MANNEQUIN DEPRESSED

The Struggles of Being Beautiful and Inanimate.
mannequindepressed@gmail.com
@MannequinDPresd

Muffy often went to her “dark place” during meet ‘n greets. At this particular moment she fantasized about burying this silver-blazered girl alive in the desert then eating a huge cup of Pinkberry. #mannequindepressed
Yes, it looked like Nicorette was touching herself inappropriately but in fact she just suffered from PPS or Phantom Panties Syndrome, in which at any given moment she believed her panties had slipped off and blown away. #mannequindepressed
Rubella understood that apples are red, but she didn’t comprehend that not all red things are apples. Later that evening she had a tummy ache. #mannequindepressed
"Girl, you need to eat something! You lookin’ like a branch with a purse dangling from you!" Truffala finished her dig then struck her signature "Oh snap!" pose when she realized it actually was a branch with a purse dangling from it. "I haven’t slept in 4 days," she remembered.
Kristiche and Abonar were just two of the many victims affected by the Great Laundromat Strike of 1997. #mannequindepressed
Plethora was embarrassed to realize she had been beckoning herself for the past 20 minutes in the tag sale mirror. “Curses!” she spat, “NOW who’s face can I steal with magic?” #mannequindepressed
Scrimpling’s father was a manager at TJ Maxx and her mother was a Dadaist Nightmare Monster. #mannequindepressed
"You’ve still got a bow in your hair," he told Sazarach. "Shall I help you remove it?" Sazarach turned her head. She was an independent woman. She didn’t need a man’s help. But then her robot arms fell off and she was like "Ok." #mannequindepressed
Heirloom had been painting for about six hours in her small studio, breathing in a considerable amount of fumes. “Whose hand is this in my mouth?” she asked the window. #mannequindepressed
"But what if my husband finds out?" Nettoyage cried. "Let him," The Purse responded, "I want the world to know that I love you." Nettoyage smiled and reached inside of him to retrieve a loose piece of gum with a hair on it.

Copyright © 2013 Andrew Farmer

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